What If It’s Not What You Think?

Pastor, we need to talk to you and Miss Rachel.

My heart dropped.

This couple had been with us for more than ten years. We loved them. They loved us. They were as faithful as faithful can be. Their kids had grown up in the church, and they had invested in the ministry in countless ways.

And yet, they had just said the words that every pastor dreads to hear: We need to talk.

My mind immediately started racing. Were they leaving? Was something wrong? Had we unknowingly hurt them?

So, I just asked. “Is this bad news?”

They both smiled. “No, not at all!”

Then, they shared something completely unexpected. They had been married for years but had never had a church wedding. They had only been married in a civil ceremony and had always wanted a pastor to officiate their marriage in a religious ceremony. They wanted to know if I would officiate a small wedding in our garden.

I had assumed the worst, but in reality, it was something incredibly beautiful.

And here’s the thing—this wasn’t years ago. This happened just this past year. So while I can say I’ve made progress, the reality is that my mind still sometimes jumps to the worst-case scenario. It’s something I’m still working through.

When Our Minds Jump to the Worst

Have you ever had a moment like that? A conversation you were dreading, only to realize it wasn’t bad at all?

I know I’m not the only one.

As a pastor, anytime someone says, “Pastor, I need to talk with you,” my mind starts running through possibilities. Not because every conversation is a problem, but because there have been enough times when it was that I naturally brace for it.

And I know pastors aren’t the only ones who experience this. Our minds tend to default to fear, stress, or worry rather than confidence and peace.

A boss calls you into their office? Oh no, am I in trouble?
A friend says, Hey, we need to talk. What did I do?
A text comes in late at night. Is something wrong?

It’s like we’re wired to assume the worst rather than expect the best.

The Walls We Build

Why do we do this? Because pain leaves a mark.

Past experiences have imprinted on our hearts and minds. We’ve had moments where conversations did go south. We’ve experienced hurt, betrayal, loss, or disappointment. And over time, those wounds teach us to be on guard.

The problem is, when we always expect the worst, we start building walls.

Walls that keep us from trusting people.
Walls that keep us from fully opening up.
Walls that keep us from believing good things are ahead.

We think we’re protecting ourselves, but in reality, we’re just shutting people out.

And sometimes, we’re shutting out the joy God wants to bring into our lives.

How Many Times Have We Worried for Nothing?

The truth is, so many of the things we worry about never actually happen.

How many times have you lost sleep over a situation that never even became a reality? How many times have you dreaded a conversation that ended up being nothing to stress over?

Jesus addressed this directly in Matthew 6:27: “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

The answer is obvious. Worry doesn’t change anything. It only steals our peace.

What If We Chose a Different Perspective?

Instead of jumping to the worst-case scenario, what if we trained our minds to assume the best?

What if we trusted that God was already ahead of us in that conversation, that meeting, or that uncertain situation?

What if, instead of reacting with fear, we paused and remembered that not everything is as bad as it seems in our heads?

That Sunday morning, I walked into a conversation expecting the worst, only to be met with an incredible opportunity. A moment of joy. A celebration of love and commitment.

And it makes me wonder—how many other moments in life do we allow worry to ruin when God is actually setting up something good?

A Challenge for Today

Think about something that’s been weighing on you. A conversation, a situation, an unknown.

Instead of assuming the worst, choose to trust that God is already working in ways you can’t see.

And maybe, just maybe, that thing you’ve been dreading will turn out to be something incredibly beautiful.

A Prayer for Today

Lord, help me to trust You more than I trust my fears. When my mind jumps to the worst-case scenario, remind me that You are in control. Give me peace in the unknown, confidence in Your plans, and faith to believe that You are always working for good. Amen.

A Beautiful Ending

Not every "We need to talk" moment is bad news.

Sometimes, what we fear turns out to be something incredibly beautiful.

That couple who stopped me before service? Their wedding in our garden was one of the most special moments I’ve been a part of. A day filled with joy, celebration, and the reminder that my mind doesn’t always get it right when it assumes the worst.

Sometimes, the conversations we dread are actually moments of unexpected blessing.